Non classé, writing

Ramblings of a waiting man.

Have you ever stop to think about how ridiculous your thoughts were at some point in your life ? Like, you were so convinced of something – however not really sure why – and you stood your ground for a while because you knew you where right but in the end you probably were wrong, did that happen to you ?
You see that happened to me, I am certainly not afraid to tell you that. As I was waiting for my plane, I was thinking about that time, that long time, when I was so damn sure that this city – my city – was the best thing that ever happened to me. Let me preface this quickly : the place where I am from looks like one of those pictures you see in the magazines; sunsets, seagulls and waves. That’s quite about it. When you live there, you feel lucky because the only damn thing that seems to be everyone’s concern is whether or not the weather will be nice the next day, or whether you’ll be fit enough to wear a bikini. I never stopped to think about how much that was a weird place to live in, really. It’s like living in a bubble when nothing ever happens, and people constantly seek to fuck their lives up in different manners, just for the sake of feeling something. Getting shitfaced on a regular basis and getting a collection of bootycalls is the definition of achieving something, isn’t it ? But nevermind that I am, once more, digressing.
I was thinking about all of this and it suddenly struck me. The beauty of a travel. The feeling of excitement but also that peculiar hint of dread, the discoveries and the amazements. A thing of pure madness. But then I got to thinking, what is it really that we find so beautiful ?
Discovering places, meeting people, opening up to culture, yes all of that sounds great. But isn’t it a way to escape home too ? I have never been shy to say that in my lust for travels hid (not so well obviously) a desire to escape home, a longing for a better place. A longing for a place where I would become a better version of myself. And then I remembered : Of mice and men, the dream, the house, the longing. Everything was there too, it’s been the same way for a lot of people, and for a lot of years. People always longed for that frontier; west, east, north, south, they want to go. Isn’t that strange ? I really wanted to know why I was like that. Am I running for something, or towards something ? Well both, probably. I hope.
God I just need to stop thinking sometimes.


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