After a while, people started to get used to everything that was happening. The terrible things, I mean. The wrong people were being elected almost everywhere, it seemed as if peace was turning into another simple five letter word which nobody really paid attention to. Cars were stolen and thrown onto men, women, husbands, wives and children; all of that, for no other justification than complete and utter misunderstandings. That, Kid, that took a hell of a lot out of me, and out of a lot of people. Our lives quickly changed – simplified by that ridiculous and yet harsh truth : you knew things would turn out to shite, you just did not know when. All in all, with hindsight, I would now say that it was more waiting than really living at all, you know? Continue reading
“I’ve had a hard time sleeping these past few nights.”
“Is that why you’re acting so weird?”
“Actually, more than just these past few nights.”
“And actually, more erratic than weird.”
She stood up from her stool, drew it closer to him and sat again. There was an echo, but nothing in sight which could have caused it. Stranger things have been known to happen.
“What’s up?” she asked.
He sighed heavily, probably unsure as to what he should answer. The pause was of those moments you think will never end.
“I … I think I don’t even know. You know?”
“And here I was thinking you couldn’t get any weirder.”
“You don’t seem to know about compassion.”
“I think you ought to talk about empathy here. But nevermind. What do you mean, you don’t know?”
He sighed again, but differently. Can difference be similar? That was the sort of question floating about in his head; things like that had been torturing him his whole life. Until then; until now, he thought. Continue reading
“Did you get anything?”
“Not much. He isn’t much of a talker.”
“What d’you get?”
“He failed the first time he tried the whole thing. Was convinced by other people to try again. It took a toll on him and he went mad. That’s how he puts it.”
“Mad? That’s the understatement of the year. He nearly blew the building up and killed everyone around.”
“The old college try.”
“That’s what he said : he convinced himself to give it the old college try.”
“Yeah well, we’re lucky he didn’t try harder.”
“Kind of ironic, don’t you think?”
“Let’s focus on him, and not on that, shall we?”
“Right.” Continue reading
The hospital was all right. The food they served was good, though it could have used thirty more seconds in the microwave. It was mostly veggies, and lord knows I have had my fair share of those; I mean, I wasn’t expecting a party, with pizzas or pies, but some rice or pastas never killed anyone. Besides, we were there do die anyway, so even if it did kill someone, it would have been fine altogether. I mean, except for the families, of course. But death by pizza; there are worse ways to go, right?
They had this strange habit of wheeling me outside everyday, even when it rained. They attached some sort of umbrella to the chair, got me all tied up in several scarves, and pushed me everywhere outside. “See there, Mr. Logan? That’s where Dr. Hugot will settle his new cabinet”, “see the bright flowers over there, Mr. Logan? Spring is gonna be here anytime now”, “Not cold, are you Mr. Logan?” I used those as my personal rythm. They uttered at least five a day, six tops. So when the first one came out, I knew I was an hour and a half away from returning to my room. I did not pay attention to the landscape anymore; it had been the same every since I first stepped wheel there. Nothing had changed, everything just grew old – or older. Continue reading
“I want to reach two people : myself and someone else. That page exists to expand my own awareness, to service my own education, and then I hope that someone out there, who might not even press the like button, who might not ever comment, is also going to resonate with what it is I have to share and say.”
I’m usually not one to post other content, videos and whatnot, but I have been reading this guy’s posts on Facebook for a while and earlier on today, I stumbled across this video and that one particular quote stood out to me for some reason. Think what you want of Wentworth Miller, it just seems to me he nails it right on the head. And aside from being one interesting fellow, he comes off as one great speaker when it comes to depression, mental health or gender matters. Yes, I know, it’s not the shortest of videos, but you have my word, it is really, really, interesting. And worth the damn time.
It was there, at that moment, under the bright lights, that it finally dawned on me. I had a big moment of clarity. Although clarity is not exactly accurate. But you get the idea. I was sitting there, watching them but not watching them, the mic in front of me turned on, and each and every last one of them waiting for me to go on, to say something new, something interesting, something they will add to their notes, bring back home, read and re-read, ponder on, or just throw away. They expected that out of me, it was implicitely stated, agreed, there was no choice. I had to do it. I did. But just out of principle, out of instincts. Nothing more but mechanics. Continue reading